"A Restful Lunch Hour at Home -- Carol Hausch Ossenfort"

A Restful Lunch Hour at Home
by Carol Hausch Ossenfort

How fortunate, I once felt, to have a job so close to home…really within walking distance if I were so inclined (which I am not)…I can go home for lunch! Joy of joys, lucky me! That is, until a day like this comes along (all too often of late), and I begin to wonder if I’m so lucky after all.

Arriving home this particular day, I anticipated a quiet, peaceful lunch hour relaxing with my feet up and soothing background music playing. Pulling into the driveway, I discovered myself behind my daughter’s car. This fact in itself could indicate that she is at home, or that her car is there while she is out with her fiancé…or, that she has my car today and my husband, who has the day off, has her car and he is at home. I happen to be driving his car today. Got that? Good!

Now, walking into the kitchen, I find that Sue is at home, but almost ready to leave for her afternoon college class. Quickly preparing a lunch of warmed-up leftovers, I’m suddenly interrupted by two young men, Andy and friend, who have just marched into the house carrying ladders, tools, and other paraphernalia. They are my son’s friends from college, who have been hired to replace our plaster dining room ceiling, a job which seems to be taking FOREVER and spilling “mess” over into every room in the house---all three floors of it. Of course, Andy parked in the driveway behind my car and Sue now informs me that she is ready to leave. She poses the question, do I want to back Dad’s car out to let her out of the driveway, or do I want to let her take Dad’s car and I can use hers for the afternoon? Honestly, I just wanted to enjoy my lunch; however a decision must be made. That decision, you understand, is based on which car has the most gas, and do I really want to switch car keys (what other car keys are on whose keyring?). Keys and the keeping of them are definitely not one of my strong points, so I decide to keep “Dad’s” car and thus back it out first. We all proceed to the cars and try to quickly and safely exit onto a very busy but small main road. As I let Sue out, Andy is waiting on the side of the road to drive his green car back in, and the lady driving down the road behind me is going way too fast! Deciding to go around the corner first rather than let her plow into me, I pull around and back into my driveway only to find that I’m no longer behind Andy’s green car, but his grey truck. How did that mysteriously happen, I ask myself? It is then that Dave appears in view, and it is he who has driven up in the truck. His truck is not working he explains, and he therefore borrowed Andy’s, which by the way used to be Dave’s until he sold it to Andy! By now, my head is spinning, my lunch house is more or less gone, and I go back in the house to pick up my coat and pocketbook to return to work. Dave, however, has stopped to get the lawnmower from the garage, as he has a part-time landscaping job, but first decides to run in and make a fast tuna sandwich. As he wolfs this down along with the entire box of Mallomars from the kitchen table, he yells, “Come on, Ma, I’ve got to get out of here.” My sentiments, exactly! Once again, I find myself in the ominous driveway moving cars, still without my coat and pocketbook, but this time our dachshund gets in the way. He must be retrieved and given a “ride” as we back out and pull back in again.

The grand finale to this “restful lunch house at home” is played out as the dog (which I’m now carrying) catches his paw in my necklace and the sound of beads bouncing on the ceramic tile floor are heard along with some mumblings from me. After crawling around collecting them all, lest we have a catastrophe later caused by a wandering bead, I wearily pick up coat and bag, announcing to anyone who cares that I am returning to the comparative safety and sanity of my job as a high school principal’s secretary.

I’m now giving serious thought to looking for a position a bit farther from home, where I’ll be forced to stay and eat lunch in the cafeteria.