"Clean-Up Day or Musical Garbage -- Carol Hausch Ossenfort"

Clean-Up Day or Musical Garbage

by Carol Hausch Ossenfort

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Remember one of the games you played at birthday parties as a child?  (No, Spin the Bottle came later).  I’m talking about Musical Chairs.  You know, a chair for each participating child was lined up with one facing frontward and the next backward, and so on, with one less chair than children playing.  The music started, and everyone marched around and around the chairs, faster and faster...until the music stopped.  Then with squeals of anxiety, everyone scrambled for the nearest chair, and the one left standing was out of the game.  Another chair was removed, and the music began again...the game continuing until the child who triumphantly leaped onto the last chair was proclaimed the winner and received his or her prize.

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Well, we had a slightly different version of the game going on in our family called, “Musical Garbage.”  This involved cleaning out various rooms in the house, and the “garbage” was moved from one room to the other, while the household “players” ran in circles trying to find appropriate places for the uprooted stuff.  Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?  I’ll bet you’ve played your own version of this as well.  In case you haven’t, the rules of the game follow.  (Please bear in mind that they are never clearly understood by any sane person, particularly not a parent.)  So don’t give up right away - give it a whirl!

1.         There are usually one or two players (most often Mom and Dad), but should be played by everyone in the household...you know that old adage which says, “Many hands make light work.”  A bonus may have to be paid to those children in the family who do participate, otherwise known as a “bribe.”

2.      It may be played during any day of the week, month, season, or year, but is most often played prior to a major holiday, or the expected arrival of guests for dinner (birthday, christening, shower, or add your own occasion).

3.      Players are penalized, if the game is played the day after the neighborhood garbage/junk collection day, by being forced to think of a new place to move the entire pile of junk to until the next scheduled day.  This would be a major setback in the game, and should be avoided at all costs!

4.      A bonus point (sometimes two) must be paid to the garbage men on collection day so that all the items sitting at the edge of the curb are taken, especially the boxes that fall apart as soon as they’re picked up, the residue of which has to be “shoveled” into the garbage truck--this assuredly necessitates the above-mentioned bonus points!

Moves:

Player Number One (usually Mom) begins by sorting out the junk from the “good stuff” in Room Number One, while the second player starts in the basement.  PNO then throws the junk into a pile on the floor, leaves to answer the phone and, returning an hour later, finds that the dog who got caught up in the spirit of the game, has scattered the pile about the room.  This sends her back to “home base.”  (The dog wins the bonus point -- a stray M&M from the pile on the floor.)

              

Meanwhile, down in the basement, the second player (PNT) (usually Dad), begins by carrying up to the yard a number of boxes that PNO wants left in the basement, and a confrontation begins.  It usually also starts to rain on the boxes!  PNO and PNT are now in a deadlock position, and the game is on temporary hold with the refuse in Room Number One (RNO) still lying about the floor except for one important document, not meant to be discarded, which the dog has just eaten along with the M&M!

At this point, a third and fourth player (kids) often have to be coaxed into the game to give aid.  PNO asks PNTH (number three) to pick up the mess in RNO, throw it all into a box and deposit it on the porch, which now becomes Room Number Three (RNTH).  While PNTH is “on the way,” he or she is then often asked by PNT (remember Dad?) to pick up the hammer he left on the porch and bring it to him.  PNTH does so, and is rewarded by a trip to the store for a bottle of soda for himself and PNT.  PNO gets a headache.

Midway through the game, an acquaintance stops by with a trunk full of clothes for your church’s used clothing drive, which she has just weeded out of her closets, and deposits on your porch.  Bonus points to the acquaintance; a penalty for you.

PNO finally returns from the store with the soda and a friend, declaring him/her a partner (PNF).  They both leave for another part of the house, each carrying a box that PNO has decided should be stashed in the attic.  The space in the attic, of course, is nil, and therefore the boxes must be returned to, yes, home base where they will sit on the floor in the corner for another month or so.

When all possible moves have been made throughout the house (this may take a while, so don’t start the game when you have only minutes to play), and an equal amount of stuff has been moved from RNO to RNT and vice-versa, the game is declared a tie and held over for another day.

The winner of this game is the person who can walk away with all of his or her marbles, still remember his or her name, and not care that it seems as if there is now more junk in each room than before they started, while the curb outside is full of the largest pile of refuse ever seen in the neighborhood!  (Please note that the winner is never PNO.)

Having read and understood (?) the basic rules, you must realize a few other pertinent facts.  Nothing is ever accomplished in this game, and it is not one to be played by those who are “feint of heart”--or if you live by the rule that there is a place for everything, and everything must be in its place.”

Understand, also, that after having played this game countless times during the year, you will tire of it as we do all of life’s pass-times.  Having admitted this, the game needs to be put away for a while so that life’s other enriching activities may be pursued – there’s a wealth of entertainment, knowledge, and fulfillment out there, and once you accept the fact that your home won’t be on the pages of “House Beautiful,” you’ll be a lot happier.

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And now, let the music begin!

Thank You, Heavenly Father, that we are so blessed with abundance in our lives, and that we have so much more than we will ever need.  Help us to use our resources and assets more wisely, help us to appreciate what we have rather than to look for better, newer, bigger items that we probably don’t need, and remind us often of those who have so little who need our help.  Let us also remember to give of the “first fruits” to your work, rather than to give the leftovers!  Truly, it is by giving and sharing that we grow and prosper.  Amen.